We’ve all done it: a love interest likes something we posted on social media and our heart flutters. Is it rational? No. Does it make us feel good? Of course! Welcome to Overthinkers Anonymous: an exclusive group of people whose brains latch onto every little detail and assign meaning to it that doesn’t exist (or does it?). Kelleher Los Angeles matchmakers see this thought process all the time. In small amounts, overanalyzing is your brain’s way of staying entertained. It’s amusing to add layers to perfectly normal situations. In large quantities, however, overanalyzing situations can ruin relationships and make people miserable.
People overanalyze a variety of things. Among the most popular items are:
- Cancelled plans
- Astronomical signs
- Which “stage” of the relationship you’re in
- Your date’s profile picture
- Not receiving replies to texts
- Needing “alone time”
- Your date’s opposite-sex friends
Overanalyzing frequently happens when a person feels lack of control in the relationship. It is common to compensate for this by assigning meaning to everything either as an explanation for why the situation is out of control or as a feeble attempt to create expertise on a situation. This is a highly sophisticated defense mechanism that almost every person deals with at one point or another.
Unfortunately, overanalyzing relationships frequently leads to one party drawing incorrect conclusions. Obsessing over these inaccurate “facts” doesn’t allow you to live in the present and, if the behavior continues, the relationship itself will lose the sparkle it once had. Reading too much into very specific aspects of your relationship limits your scope of focus and kills any romance you may have once had.
There are ways to stop the harmful process of overanalyzing. First, recognize when it happens. This allows you to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation if possible. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this “small stuff” or is this part of the big picture?
- Does this particular issue really matter in the long run?
- Why is this so important to me?
Finally, distract yourself from the item you are overanalyzing. Call a friend, go out on the town, or take a walk with your pet. Getting out and into the world physically removes you from whatever is bothering you and it also serves to emotionally separate you from the issue as well. This technique is great for conflict resolution of any kind.
While overanalyzing is harmful to relationships, it is also surprisingly easy to break this destructive habit. L.A. matchmaking services don’t just match couples based on compatibility; our elite dating specialists guide clients through the dating world to help build successful relationships and overcome obstacles that have held them back from fulfilling love lives in the past. Contact our upscale L.A. matchmaking offices today and start your service today.