One minute you’re getting to know someone, gazing into their eyes over a mocha latte, and then as soon as you get home – BAM – it happens: that little red notification pops up that lets you know your new date wants to be friends on social media. Don’t get us wrong: it’s the 21st century, but how do you handle a new date trying to get too friendly online too soon? This is a touchy subject and people seem to have devised different sets of rules for different occasions. Kelleher Los Angeles’s matchmaking services are steeped in social media so we have compiled the perfect step-by-step guide to evaluate your next move once the friend request has been sent.
Step 1: Evaluate. Consider the content of your existing social media page, including:
- Photos of exes
- Tagged photos
- Previous statuses
- Friends’ posts on your page
- Pages you follow
Consider whether things on your social media page would be hurtful to a new love interest. It’s only natural for your new date to scroll through your page to find out what kind of person you are. Go as far back in time as possible and delete insensitive posts or things that are no longer representative of who you are. As for unwanted photos you didn’t personally post but have been tagged in, consider removing the tag and also making sure the post is hidden from your timeline.
Step 2: The Big Decision. Different people have different boundaries when it comes to social media. If it’s only been one date and you haven’t decided whether or not to pursue a relationship, let the friend request sit for a while. Don’t delete it, but wait until after the second or third date to address it. If they asks about the pending request in the meantime, simply state that your social media accounts are personal and you would rather wait until you know each other better to allow access to your page. This conversation can be concise and honest without being hurtful.
Step 3: After the Add. A social media connection doesn’t just benefit your potential person: you now have access to view their information as well. Use this information as a way to gauge whether your first impressions were indeed accurate. Photos, comments friends post, and statuses all speak to who your potential new love is. If he or she mentioned in a previous post how much they want to try a new restaurant, consider that location for your next outing.
Step 4: What’s Your Relationship Status? Don’t be the person who changes their relationship status to “married” too soon. The safest thing to do is to leave this portion of your profile blank as long as possible so it’s a non-issue. Only change your status to “in a relationship” if you have already spoken to your romantic interest and both of you have agreed the relationship is exclusive with real potential for a future. Some couples get to this stage after only a few dates and others get to this point after several months or years. Move at your own pace and do not rush into things.
Navigating the tricky world of dating via social media is not an easy task. Prying eyes will always be watching, wondering about new friends and relationship status changes. Keep your personal life private as long as possible and discuss all changes with your person before surprising them with social media notifications. The key to a successful online presence is offline communication. L.A. matchmaking services are a great way to make sure you and your date are on the same page. Contact us to start the journey toward “in a relationship” today!