Ask LA Matchmakers: Why Do I Always Attract the Same Type?


Anyone who has ever mused over a series of failed dates understands that some people attract a specific personality type. These “types” always seem to either be beneficial or harmful when starting a new relationship. Why is it that some people seem to attract serial cheaters while others find themselves in happy, loving relationships? Our LA Matchmakers have the answer: It’s not them. It’s you.

Before jumping to any conclusions, remember that a person’s “type” is just a product of their habits and attitudes about the world. As people grow, learn, and change, their type can change too. No one is ever stuck in only bad relationships until the end of time. All it takes are a few changes in someone’s life that allow the right person to present themselves. So what’s holding you back? Probably a combination of the following:

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You get what you give?” How about “birds of a feather flock together?” No matter how you put it, you attract what you put out into the world. If you frequent nightclubs on a regular basis, chances are high you will meet someone who also spends a great deal of time in nightclubs. Similarly, spending time doing volunteer work opens you up to meeting dates interested in charity work. Consider who you want to meet and evaluate your activities based on your desires.

Carrying baggage from past relationships, bad family situations or friendships-gone-wrong will put out a negative vibe. Move past wrongdoing and old grudges as fast as possible and let go of what you can. Don’t allow misconceptions gained from previous failed relationships color your vision for the future.

Limiting Yourself
Deciding you’ll only date someone who looks or behaves a certain way limits your dating pool. Very few people will meet your expectations. Those that do will be subject to constant pressure to make sure they stay within the parameters of what is “attractive.” Focus instead on lasting traits like charisma, willingness to help others or a positive attitude. These are the traits that matter in the long run.

Do this instead:
Focus on AWARENESS. Become aware of your current habits and determine whether they are beneficial or harmful. Take note of what you have been looking for in a partner in the past and what kind of traits you see in happy couples that have been together for a long time. You can only make a change when you are willing to evaluate yourself with an objective eye. Switch up your criteria and go on dates with people you wouldn’t necessarily consider. Your “type” might be more fluid than you think.

Dating is tough, but Kelleher Los Angeles matchmaking services can help you navigate the field and find the love you were meant to have all along. Invest in elite dating services and millionaire dating to locate quality dates and break out of your relationship rut. Click or call to speak with a Los Angeles matchmaker today.

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