4 Unspoken Ways You’re Rejecting Love

Unhappy Couple

Self-improvement should be at the forefront of every dating experience. While the California matchmakers at Kelleher Los Angeles make love a convenient solution for our clients, it is a life-changing experience that frequently challenges people to try new experiences and step out of their comfort zones. Relationships that do not last frequently impart lessons that should be taken to heart. Check the health of your relationship with these four ways you’re rejecting love so you can recognize unhealthy dating behaviors and fix them to save your next relationship.

You don’t talk. Sure, you communicate, but face it: the last time you spoke with your significant other was over text, instant messenger or email. Perhaps you got creative and called a delivery service to have flowers sent. It was quick, easy and required almost no thought on your part. If you really plan to make your date someone you trust enough to spend your life with long-term, you need to be more present in the relationship. Communication matters, but the quality of your thoughts and actions matter, too.

Small gestures, like texting your date “good morning,” are a great supplement to your relationship, but should never replace meaningful conversations in person. The light in your date’s eyes, the excitement in her voice when she talks about a recent vacation and the touch of your partner’s hand on your arm cannot be recreated through the glare of a screen. Luckily, the fix for this is easy; a nice dinner out without any distractions can help rekindle that spark technology threatened to put out.

Living like you’re single. When you and a date decide to be exclusive, it’s time to re-evaluate your behavior in public. Flirting at parties, texting old flames and bar hopping all scream, “I’m single and looking!” If you notice behaviors you’d like to change, do so without your partner asking. Be open to feedback from your date, too – after all, you’re still getting to know each other and their expectations might be different from yours.

Withholding information. As a couple, it’s okay (even preferred) to have your separate lives and interests. These interests, however, are designed to give you something to talk about during date night – not for you to keep secrets. Treat your date like your partner and equal. Share your thoughts and interests so they can get to know you and maybe even share some ideas of their own. You will grow closer because of it and your relationship will be healthier.

An alternate version of this involves withholding love because you feel it gives you power in the relationship. If this sounds familiar, remember relationships are about finding someone you can team up with in life; this can’t happen if one of you constantly has the upper hand. Our elite matchmakers locate compatible matches with similar ambitions, interests and desires so you can build a bond based on mutual respect and admiration.

You’re not a giver. All the diamonds and fancy dinners in the world won’t make difference in this category – we’re talking about emotional giving. It’s not fair to expect your date to carry the entire conversation or to do only the things you enjoy with no regard for what they really want. Hold yourself to the same expectations you have for your date and constantly pursue things you feel will make them happy. Choose the date idea they prefer or do something that shows you really were paying attention during a recent conversation. Compete with yourself to surprise and delight your date with no expectations of receiving anything in return. Going out of your way to please your date shows respect and helps build goodwill for the future.

Embarking on a new relationship is the perfect opportunity to explore your personality and discover new ways to improve yourself. It’s easy to view dating as a fun way to spend time on a Friday night, but the result of a good date could very well lead to you becoming a better person in ways you never expected. The right person should challenge you to be the best version of yourself and inspire you to do things that make both of you happy. Let Kelleher Los Angeles inspire self-improvement in your life. Call our toll free number at (800) 401-6282 or reach out to us online to speak with a personal matchmaker today.

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