Getting Back into the Los Angeles Dating Game

shutterstock_529060780-1The dating pool is both an exhilarating and nerve wracking place – especially if you haven’t dated in many years. Whether you are making a comeback from a divorce or a particularly long relationship, the idea of dating can be intimidating. Our matchmakers have gotten together to come up with a list of ideas on how to start over and get back into the swing of things.

Getting Started
Before you think of beginning a new relationship, be sure that you have let go of any lingering baggage from previous relationships. We recommend going through your phone, social media accounts and photo albums to make sure there aren’t any reminders of love gone wrong. Ban yourself from checking your exes’ social media accounts to “catch up.” They’ve moved on and it’s time for you to do the same and reclaim your happiness. This first step is often the most difficult, but you will know when the time is right.

Communication Styles
Opposites attract, but not when it comes to communication styles. It’s important to find someone who believes in communicating the same way you do, and as an integral part of any relationship, having an open line of communication builds trust and honesty. If the person that you are pursuing doesn’t value communication as much as you do, it might be time to cut your losses and move on.

Take Your Time
Slow and steady wins the race. We know it’s fun to think about the future and everything it may hold, but don’t start planning baby names or future vacation spots before things get serious. It’s okay to slow down when it comes to dating and romance. Move at your own pace and discuss your feelings with your partner so they understand your thoughts, as well.

Maintain Independence
We know that beginning a new relationship is fun and exciting, but remember that it’s important to maintain your own life, as well. This means that you take time to hang out with your friends, see your family, and do things that make you happy. Enjoy being alone and you’ll enjoy being together. Like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You are partners – not each other’s babysitters. You’re adults with professional careers and a variety of interests that make each of you unique. Embrace your own independence (and your partner’s, too) for the best results in any relationship.

Conflict Resolution
Talk through your issues. It can be easy to bottle things up or ignore problems that bother you, but it’s incredibly important to bring things up when you notice there is a problem so you can discuss them with your partner. Ignoring the problem could result in anger or resentment over the issue, which could hurt your relationship.

Trust Your Intuition
A sad, but harsh truth, not every person you date is going to be “the one.” Everyone wants to feel like their current love interest is their soulmate, but that cheapens the concept of love. Normally, dating requires sorting through many wrong choices and learning many harsh lessons about life and love. This is what makes it so special to meet someone who feels “right.” True love takes time, patience and trust. Listen to your instincts when they tell you someone might just be worth it.

Be Unique
Be yourself. It’s very tempting to morph into your new partners “perfect match,” but they started dating you for a reason. There are things about you that they like and want to keep around. So embrace your differences and make them see that maybe their “perfect” match was actually in front of them the whole time – even if you don’t quite fit into their mold.

Embrace the Future
Let go of the past. The past can be painful and sometimes leaves scars on your heart, but it’s important to come to terms with that pain so you can move onto something different and new. You’ve probably heard this before, but just because the last person hurt you doesn’t mean the new one will. Heal those old wounds as best as possible before embracing your new journey.

Jumping into the dating game is terrifying. Times have changed, lingo is different, and you’ve grown as a person. Embrace the new you and find qualities about yourself that you love – your next date is sure to find that they love them, too. If you want to get back into the swing of things, give our Los Angeles matchmakers a call and we’ll see if we can’t set you up with a homerun!

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