Top 5 Habits to Avoid on a Date

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We’ve all been there: the appetizer arrives and your date launches into a self-propelled monologue about their childhood, coworkers, and a million little details you never thought to care about because, let’s face it: you just met this person. Social smarts are not always intuitive. It takes a little time and a lot of practice to make conversation feel natural between two people who have never met. The Southern California matchmakers at Kelleher Los Angeles have five top habits to avoid on dates so you can stop scaring away potential relationships.

Talking about yourself. It’s great to be open with your date, but when you offer too much information without being asked, it gives the impression that your date is irrelevant; you would offer this same information to anyone and your date is not required for the conversation to happen. Ignite intrigue and incite interest by asking your date questions about themselves. This shows you are willing to listen and opens the floor for them to ask you questions, too.

Dating your career. Work belongs in the office – not on a date! Certainly mention your job, especially if it’s a large part of your life, but unless you and your date work in the exact same industry do not linger on the subject. Industry jargon can be overwhelming, especially if you’re in a niche market. Try to stick with topics a bit more relatable like travel, hopes for the future, or an exciting story your date brought up. If future dates are planned, branch into deeper conversation at that time.

Acting like a diva. A first date is not the time to make extraordinary demands at the restaurant. Accept the seat you are offered, reply graciously to the wait staff, and tip generously when you leave (yes, your date looks). A person’s character can easily be judged not by how they treat their peers, but by how they treat those in service industries around them. If you scoff at the doorman and stiff the waitress, your date will try to escape your rotten attitude as quickly as possible – and we don’t blame them.

Shiftiness. Maybe you’ve had a long day at the office and your mind is split between a thousand things, but if look uncomfortable your date is going to notice. Take a few moments to get your head in the right place before your date. Deep yoga breathing in the car is a great trick to guarantee you are entirely present during each and every encounter. Remind yourself work and other obligations can happen any other time of day, but this moment with your date can only happen once. Your date will be flattered to discover you are paying attention only to them.

Talking about exes. We get it: everyone has baggage. Ex-bashing is extremely dangerous territory because your date can’t help but wonder: if you are so open about exes and their flaws, will you blab about them, too? Treat your exes as you would an unpleasant boss listed on your resume: gloss over that period of your life, recognize it was a learning experience, and turn the conversation back toward your date. This shows maturity and is all part of being present with your date; never linger in the past when you have an opportunity to value the person you’re with.

Are you willing to give up negative personality traits if it means the person you value most in life feels more connected to you because of it?It’s hard to break free of bad habits that have worked their way into your life, but when it comes to finding (and keeping) the love of your life, the investment is worth it. Try to look at your behaviors objectively. If past dates ended abruptly or unexpectedly you might need to do some soul-searching before revisiting the root cause.  This is another great reason to work with our expert matchmakers: allow Kelleher Los Angeles to discuss your dating life and prepare you for the relationship of a lifetime.

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